A couple of weeks ago, I posted an article which contained a video of John Wooden speaking about his definition of true success. In the same talk, he also said he had three rules that he practically almost always followed and gave to his players and students. They were:
1. Never be late
2. No profanity
3. Never criticize a teammate
Certainly, whether you are looking at these rules from sports or in life, the practical application is there. If you follow these rules, you will likely be more successful, more liked, and more respected than if you do not.
Being on time, often, is a matter of respect. By not being late, you are respecting that other people have things to do and places to be, and they do not like waiting for you because you are running late. In life, there are few quicker ways to lose respect than being late.
Never criticizing is another issue of respect and teaching. There is no good that will come out of criticizing someone else. It is not constructive, and often the person on the receiving end of it is not actually getting anything out of what you are telling them, they are upset about being negatively chewed out.
This is not a comprehensive list of ways to live your life, but it is certainly a start. If you follow these rules, you will be treating others with respect, and in turn they will treat you the same.
Showing posts with label John Wooden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Wooden. Show all posts
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
John Wooden on True Success
The other day I came across this talk by John Wooden on what he sees as true success... it is a great video of the inspiring and wise old coach, and I would heartily recommend it to anyone.
In the video, Wooden gives his definition of success. He says that success is:
Notice that his definition of success has nothing to do with achieving more fame or money than another person, a point which he makes in the talk. Instead, it is concerned with doing the best that you are capable of, and being satisfied with yourself and the life that you are living.
People see success as being in competition with other people, but Wooden says, "Never try to be better than anyone else." Rather, be the best you that you can be. At the end of the day, you need to be able to look yourself in the mirror and be satisfied, and that will not happen over the long-term if you are reaching for more fame, money, or popularity than other people. Those goals are fleeting, and are concerned with pride, not the true sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that comes from real growth as a person.
What is your definition of success? You need to evaluate that first, because that is what you will judge yourself on. If you have a warped sense of what being successful means, chances are you will be focused on the wrong things, and this will severely stunt your growth as a person.
Wooden had it right with his definition of success. True success is becoming the best person that you are capable of becoming. It has nothing to do with so many of the earthly things that we usually judge success on. If we truly are able to embrace this definition of success and live our life based on it, how much happier we would be.
In the video, Wooden gives his definition of success. He says that success is:
"Peace of mind attained only through self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you're capable."
Notice that his definition of success has nothing to do with achieving more fame or money than another person, a point which he makes in the talk. Instead, it is concerned with doing the best that you are capable of, and being satisfied with yourself and the life that you are living.
People see success as being in competition with other people, but Wooden says, "Never try to be better than anyone else." Rather, be the best you that you can be. At the end of the day, you need to be able to look yourself in the mirror and be satisfied, and that will not happen over the long-term if you are reaching for more fame, money, or popularity than other people. Those goals are fleeting, and are concerned with pride, not the true sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that comes from real growth as a person.
What is your definition of success? You need to evaluate that first, because that is what you will judge yourself on. If you have a warped sense of what being successful means, chances are you will be focused on the wrong things, and this will severely stunt your growth as a person.
Wooden had it right with his definition of success. True success is becoming the best person that you are capable of becoming. It has nothing to do with so many of the earthly things that we usually judge success on. If we truly are able to embrace this definition of success and live our life based on it, how much happier we would be.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Pray For Guidance and Give Thanks For Your Blessings Every Day
The final point in John Wooden's father's rules for living is to pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.
In a manner of speaking, I see this as encompassing all of the other rules. Simply put, if you are not praying for guidance and you are not thankful for the many blessings in your life, it will be difficult to really carry out any of the other six rules. It is imperative to recognize where our guidance comes from, and pray for more wisdom to live good lives.
Giving thanks for the many blessings in our life allows us to see all of the good things that we have, and all of the beauty that is around us. Being able to recognize everything that has been given to us and to give thanks for all of that might be the single biggest thing we can do to help lead us to living happy lives. It allows us to remain optimistic and always try to see the bright side of things, because if we are constantly giving thanks we know that bad times shall pass, and that the world is ultimately good.
Giving thanks will allow us to see that all things have a purpose. Every bad thing happens for a reason, even if it is impossible to see of imagine at the time. Every challenge is an opportunity. This type of positive attitude and outlook is vital for our happiness.
I will end with a quote from Mother Teresa, who had a view on suffering and a devotion to living out this exact principle that is almost unparalleled. In the book "Come Be My Light," she is quoted:
In a manner of speaking, I see this as encompassing all of the other rules. Simply put, if you are not praying for guidance and you are not thankful for the many blessings in your life, it will be difficult to really carry out any of the other six rules. It is imperative to recognize where our guidance comes from, and pray for more wisdom to live good lives.
Giving thanks for the many blessings in our life allows us to see all of the good things that we have, and all of the beauty that is around us. Being able to recognize everything that has been given to us and to give thanks for all of that might be the single biggest thing we can do to help lead us to living happy lives. It allows us to remain optimistic and always try to see the bright side of things, because if we are constantly giving thanks we know that bad times shall pass, and that the world is ultimately good.
Giving thanks will allow us to see that all things have a purpose. Every bad thing happens for a reason, even if it is impossible to see of imagine at the time. Every challenge is an opportunity. This type of positive attitude and outlook is vital for our happiness.
I will end with a quote from Mother Teresa, who had a view on suffering and a devotion to living out this exact principle that is almost unparalleled. In the book "Come Be My Light," she is quoted:
"Now I really rejoice when something does not go as I wish - because I see that He wants our trust - that is why in the loss let us praise God as if we have got everything." (24)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Build a Shelter Against a Rainy Day
The sixth point on John Wooden's father's rules for living is to build a shelter against a rainy day.
As an accountant by trade, I look at this from a financial point of view. For many people, money is a huge stressor in life. There are many reasons for this, most notably (in my mind) because there is a warped sense of wants and needs. People want things, but they think they need them, and so they buy them even if they cannot afford them. This generally causes them to get into financial trouble, as suddenly they don't have money to pay the regular bills, they put things on credit cards, and payments become higher and higher. This stresses them out.
I could probably talk all day about this stuff, but I won't. Instead, I will focus on what I believe this rule is talking about. It is very important for your financial well-being to set money aside just in case of an emergency, or if anything else happens. It is no fun to save money or set money aside "just in case" something happens, but you will thank yourself for it if you need it. The best way to do this to recognize the things that you truly need as opposed to what you merely want, and limit those things.
You might find it funny that I would talk about money on a site like this, but it's not really. For most people, if they are worried about money or how they are going to pay their bills, they are not going to be able to live happy, fulfilling lives. Keeping your financial house in order is very important to living a happy life, but it allows you to take your mind higher and focus on the things that are truly important.
As an accountant by trade, I look at this from a financial point of view. For many people, money is a huge stressor in life. There are many reasons for this, most notably (in my mind) because there is a warped sense of wants and needs. People want things, but they think they need them, and so they buy them even if they cannot afford them. This generally causes them to get into financial trouble, as suddenly they don't have money to pay the regular bills, they put things on credit cards, and payments become higher and higher. This stresses them out.
I could probably talk all day about this stuff, but I won't. Instead, I will focus on what I believe this rule is talking about. It is very important for your financial well-being to set money aside just in case of an emergency, or if anything else happens. It is no fun to save money or set money aside "just in case" something happens, but you will thank yourself for it if you need it. The best way to do this to recognize the things that you truly need as opposed to what you merely want, and limit those things.
You might find it funny that I would talk about money on a site like this, but it's not really. For most people, if they are worried about money or how they are going to pay their bills, they are not going to be able to live happy, fulfilling lives. Keeping your financial house in order is very important to living a happy life, but it allows you to take your mind higher and focus on the things that are truly important.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Make Friendship a Fine Art
The fifth point in John Wooden's father's list of rules for living is to make friendship a fine art.
Being a friend is a difficult thing, particularly being a good friend. Being a good friend does not mean being a friend only when it is convenient, but when it is inconvenient. It means helping your friends and being there for them when they need it, even if that is not a good time for you, even if you have other things on your plate.
Being a good friend means cultivating friendships and growing them even when you are not together. It means being interested in the lives of others and loving them, and caring for their well-being. For me, it is sometimes hard to keep in great contact with a lot of people when I am away from them because I hate talking on the phone, but sometimes that is necessary to be a good friend. Personally, I have a lot of friends with whom I haven't seen or talked to for quite a while (years, even) but I knew that if I saw them we would have a great time together.
However, making friendship a fine art means keeping tabs on them, showing them that you care about them, and doing anything you can to help them. It means being there for them in a moment's notice, and knowing when they need help (even if they don't say it). These are the things involved in making friendship a fine art.
Another important thing about friendship is that you are always looking out and want the best for the other person. This does not always mean being comfortable, or telling them what they want to hear, but telling them and showing them what you truly think is best for their life, even if they don't want to hear it. It might be tough, but that is what being a good friend is for. Sometimes we have to hear things we don't want to hear to become better people, and if you are the type of friend that can be the ones to say it, then bravo, because are on your way to making friendship a fine art. I can't remember where I found this quote, but we should all strive to be the type of friend talked about here:
Let us all strive to be the type of friend that will not push others toward safety and comfort, but rather towards someone who is not afraid to take risks and fail, knowing that that is what will help us grow as people.
Being a friend is a difficult thing, particularly being a good friend. Being a good friend does not mean being a friend only when it is convenient, but when it is inconvenient. It means helping your friends and being there for them when they need it, even if that is not a good time for you, even if you have other things on your plate.
Being a good friend means cultivating friendships and growing them even when you are not together. It means being interested in the lives of others and loving them, and caring for their well-being. For me, it is sometimes hard to keep in great contact with a lot of people when I am away from them because I hate talking on the phone, but sometimes that is necessary to be a good friend. Personally, I have a lot of friends with whom I haven't seen or talked to for quite a while (years, even) but I knew that if I saw them we would have a great time together.
However, making friendship a fine art means keeping tabs on them, showing them that you care about them, and doing anything you can to help them. It means being there for them in a moment's notice, and knowing when they need help (even if they don't say it). These are the things involved in making friendship a fine art.
"The only way to have a friend is to be one." - Henry David Thoreau
Another important thing about friendship is that you are always looking out and want the best for the other person. This does not always mean being comfortable, or telling them what they want to hear, but telling them and showing them what you truly think is best for their life, even if they don't want to hear it. It might be tough, but that is what being a good friend is for. Sometimes we have to hear things we don't want to hear to become better people, and if you are the type of friend that can be the ones to say it, then bravo, because are on your way to making friendship a fine art. I can't remember where I found this quote, but we should all strive to be the type of friend talked about here:
"The man, who, being really on the Way, falls upon hard times in the world will not, as a consquence, turn to that friend who offers him refuge and comfort and encourages his old self to survive. Rather, he will seek out someone who will faithfully and inexorably help him to risk himself, so that he may endure the suffering and pass courageously through it. Only to the extent that man express himself over and over again to annihilation, can that which is indestructible arise within him. In this lies the dignity of daring."
Let us all strive to be the type of friend that will not push others toward safety and comfort, but rather towards someone who is not afraid to take risks and fail, knowing that that is what will help us grow as people.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Drink Deeply in Good Books
The fourth point in John Wooden's father's list of rules for living is to "drink deeply in good books."
I find that a good many people read books only when they need to (for classes, etc), and sometimes not even then. That is really too bad, but in part a byproduct of our society (for most people, reading doesn't provide the type of immediate entertainment that something like TV would have). However, you should make a point of reading!
For one, it will challenge your mind and make you smarter. The quickest way to expand your vocabulary is not to study the dictionary, but to read books. Certainly the better your vocabulary, the better off you will be, if only because then you will be able to understand and communicate with others better. Reading will also help you improve your writing, and it would benefit just about everybody to be better at writing.
Reading can also open you up to new ideas, concepts, and ways of thinking. It can provide points of view that you might never have thought of, or it can provide a new insight into something you could never quite grasp. Spiritually, books regularly inspire me to be a better person, to understand my faith better, to give me new ways of thinking about how to live my life to be a better person. If it weren't for books certainly I would not be the person that I am today, they have helped shaped my character, and I am certain I am far from alone in that respect.
You can get a book on basically any subject and increase your knowledge of it. You can open your mind to new cultures and other ways that people live their lives, which will help you understand others and love them better. Reading is also a great source of entertainment. If you are cash strapped and complain that you have nothing to do... get a library card and head to your branch of the local library. If you can't find one book on a topic that would interest you, I would suggest you are not looking hard enough.
Read books! Often, on many different topics. You will become a better person for it.
As a bonus, on the importance of returning your books to the library... an inspiring scene from Seinfeld involving Lt. Bookman :)
I find that a good many people read books only when they need to (for classes, etc), and sometimes not even then. That is really too bad, but in part a byproduct of our society (for most people, reading doesn't provide the type of immediate entertainment that something like TV would have). However, you should make a point of reading!
For one, it will challenge your mind and make you smarter. The quickest way to expand your vocabulary is not to study the dictionary, but to read books. Certainly the better your vocabulary, the better off you will be, if only because then you will be able to understand and communicate with others better. Reading will also help you improve your writing, and it would benefit just about everybody to be better at writing.
Reading can also open you up to new ideas, concepts, and ways of thinking. It can provide points of view that you might never have thought of, or it can provide a new insight into something you could never quite grasp. Spiritually, books regularly inspire me to be a better person, to understand my faith better, to give me new ways of thinking about how to live my life to be a better person. If it weren't for books certainly I would not be the person that I am today, they have helped shaped my character, and I am certain I am far from alone in that respect.
You can get a book on basically any subject and increase your knowledge of it. You can open your mind to new cultures and other ways that people live their lives, which will help you understand others and love them better. Reading is also a great source of entertainment. If you are cash strapped and complain that you have nothing to do... get a library card and head to your branch of the local library. If you can't find one book on a topic that would interest you, I would suggest you are not looking hard enough.
Read books! Often, on many different topics. You will become a better person for it.
As a bonus, on the importance of returning your books to the library... an inspiring scene from Seinfeld involving Lt. Bookman :)
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Help Others
The third point in John Wooden's father's list of rules for living is to help others.
It seems a bit overly simplistic, but a life with set to help others and be of service to others is going to be one worth living. There are many reasons for this. The first is that it will help and deepen all of our relationships, which will (generally speaking) make us happier people and love life more.
On one hand, the fact that we are looking to help others will take the focus off of ourselves, and allow us to grow in virtue without even realizing it. It is a little known fact, but... when we stop worrying about our own happiness and well-being but instead focus on the happiness and well-being of others, we often find that we bring them happiness and get our own happiness thrown in. It is like the saying, we get more people interested in us when we are sincerely interested in others... we generally do not find our own happiness when we are looking for it, but rather when we are helping others.
Another perk of helping others and being of service to them is that it often gets paid back to you. If you are known to help others, when you are in a pinch or need some help, there will often be others there to help. Building those relationships based on loving others results in everyone being willing to help everyone else. Of course, this should never be the point of helping others (you shouldn't do a favor for someone so that they OWE you something, but rather because you want to do them a favor with no ulterior motive), but when you live a life to help others, you will be rewarded for that, either in this life or the next.
It seems a bit overly simplistic, but a life with set to help others and be of service to others is going to be one worth living. There are many reasons for this. The first is that it will help and deepen all of our relationships, which will (generally speaking) make us happier people and love life more.
On one hand, the fact that we are looking to help others will take the focus off of ourselves, and allow us to grow in virtue without even realizing it. It is a little known fact, but... when we stop worrying about our own happiness and well-being but instead focus on the happiness and well-being of others, we often find that we bring them happiness and get our own happiness thrown in. It is like the saying, we get more people interested in us when we are sincerely interested in others... we generally do not find our own happiness when we are looking for it, but rather when we are helping others.
Another perk of helping others and being of service to them is that it often gets paid back to you. If you are known to help others, when you are in a pinch or need some help, there will often be others there to help. Building those relationships based on loving others results in everyone being willing to help everyone else. Of course, this should never be the point of helping others (you shouldn't do a favor for someone so that they OWE you something, but rather because you want to do them a favor with no ulterior motive), but when you live a life to help others, you will be rewarded for that, either in this life or the next.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Make Each Day Your Masterpiece
This is second on the list of John Wooden's father's list of rules for living, and it's one of my favorite points on the list.
Often I feel we all fall into the drudgery of day to day life. We wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, do something for a minute, and go to bed ready to the same thing the next day. That is not bad in and of itself, but sometimes our attitude about it is.
We need to seek to live each day to the fullest, to have things to look forward to everyday, and to not take things for granted. Live a life with purpose, knowing what your goals and dreams are, and working hard to achieve them. Do not neglect tasks or friends, but seem to make your life fulfilling, and for each day to have meaning, to make each day better than the day before it.
Many people simply find life boring, in part because they might not see the beauty and the spectacular-ness (note: that might not actually be a word... I report, you decide) of everything. There are amazing things all around us, but we don't always look hard enough, or even care to look in the first place.
Making each day your masterpiece means seeking out the great and wonderful things in life, and then really focusing on them and cherishing them. Sure, there are always going to be mundane things that need to be done on a daily basis, life needs a foundation after all, but that doesn't mean that things have to be boring.
"How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it; if you could really look at other men with common curiosity and pleasure; if you could see them walking as they are in their sunny selfishness and virile indifference! You would begin to be interested in them, because they were not interested in you. You would break out of this tiny and tawdry theatre in which your own little plot is always being played, and you would find yourself under a freer sky, in a street full of splendid strangers." - GK Chesterton
Wake up each day with a purpose, thankful that you are alive, knowing that the life you dream of is always within your grasp, if you are only willing to reach for it.
Often I feel we all fall into the drudgery of day to day life. We wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, do something for a minute, and go to bed ready to the same thing the next day. That is not bad in and of itself, but sometimes our attitude about it is.
We need to seek to live each day to the fullest, to have things to look forward to everyday, and to not take things for granted. Live a life with purpose, knowing what your goals and dreams are, and working hard to achieve them. Do not neglect tasks or friends, but seem to make your life fulfilling, and for each day to have meaning, to make each day better than the day before it.
Many people simply find life boring, in part because they might not see the beauty and the spectacular-ness (note: that might not actually be a word... I report, you decide) of everything. There are amazing things all around us, but we don't always look hard enough, or even care to look in the first place.
Making each day your masterpiece means seeking out the great and wonderful things in life, and then really focusing on them and cherishing them. Sure, there are always going to be mundane things that need to be done on a daily basis, life needs a foundation after all, but that doesn't mean that things have to be boring.
"How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it; if you could really look at other men with common curiosity and pleasure; if you could see them walking as they are in their sunny selfishness and virile indifference! You would begin to be interested in them, because they were not interested in you. You would break out of this tiny and tawdry theatre in which your own little plot is always being played, and you would find yourself under a freer sky, in a street full of splendid strangers." - GK Chesterton
Wake up each day with a purpose, thankful that you are alive, knowing that the life you dream of is always within your grasp, if you are only willing to reach for it.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Be True To Yourself
As I talked about, this is the first on the list of John Wooden's father's rules for living. But what does it mean?
I think people have a tendency (myself most definitely included) to do things or be somebody that they think other people will like, even if goes against what they believe in or what they really are. The most obvious example of this, or the way to understand it most easily, I believe, would be to think about peer pressure.
When people think of peer pressure, they think about hypothetical situations that usually involve high school, alcohol, or drugs. But of course peer pressure goes much more deeply than that, and is usually in your life no matter your age or social situation.
For example, I once read something called "50 questions that will free your mind," which are essentially just 50 questions designed to make you think about your life and the person that you are. One of the questions asks:
This is peer pressure. In reality, most people would just go along with it, or at the very least not stick up for the friend. If you are being true to yourself, you will stand up for what you believe in (that the criticism is distasteful and unjustified), even if makes things a little awkward, or even if those three people have a lower opinion of you.
To be true to yourself means to stick up for the things you believe in, to believe in your dreams and seek to make them a reality. When we do these things, we become the people we were made to be, and live happy and fulfilling lives.
I'll end with two quotes... one of which you have definitely heard before, and another which you may have:
"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are" - e.e. cummings
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
I think people have a tendency (myself most definitely included) to do things or be somebody that they think other people will like, even if goes against what they believe in or what they really are. The most obvious example of this, or the way to understand it most easily, I believe, would be to think about peer pressure.
When people think of peer pressure, they think about hypothetical situations that usually involve high school, alcohol, or drugs. But of course peer pressure goes much more deeply than that, and is usually in your life no matter your age or social situation.
For example, I once read something called "50 questions that will free your mind," which are essentially just 50 questions designed to make you think about your life and the person that you are. One of the questions asks:
"You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?"
This is peer pressure. In reality, most people would just go along with it, or at the very least not stick up for the friend. If you are being true to yourself, you will stand up for what you believe in (that the criticism is distasteful and unjustified), even if makes things a little awkward, or even if those three people have a lower opinion of you.
To be true to yourself means to stick up for the things you believe in, to believe in your dreams and seek to make them a reality. When we do these things, we become the people we were made to be, and live happy and fulfilling lives.
I'll end with two quotes... one of which you have definitely heard before, and another which you may have:
"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are" - e.e. cummings
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
Monday, December 20, 2010
John Wooden's Father's Seven Rules For Living
In John Wooden's last book, "A Game Plan for Life: The Power of Mentoring
," he talked about 7 rules that his father had, or rather 7 things that he tried to live by. They were:
1. Be true to yourself
2. Make each day your masterpiece
3. Help others
4. Drink deeply in good books
5. Make friendship a fine art
6. Build a shelter against a rainy day
7. Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day
I thought this was a great list and really would have a positive impact on anyone if they were able to live all of these things out. I was going to write very briefly about each point, but I thought it would be fun to make each one into a post, because the things are just that good!
Stay tuned!
P.S. For a slightly more thorough look at other advice or quotes from John Wooden as relating to his father, check out All Financial Matters.
," he talked about 7 rules that his father had, or rather 7 things that he tried to live by. They were:1. Be true to yourself
2. Make each day your masterpiece
3. Help others
4. Drink deeply in good books
5. Make friendship a fine art
6. Build a shelter against a rainy day
7. Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day
I thought this was a great list and really would have a positive impact on anyone if they were able to live all of these things out. I was going to write very briefly about each point, but I thought it would be fun to make each one into a post, because the things are just that good!
Stay tuned!
P.S. For a slightly more thorough look at other advice or quotes from John Wooden as relating to his father, check out All Financial Matters.
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