Lessons From Mere Christianity: Self-Improvement

This is a post from my series called Lessons From Mere Christianity.

All of the writings in the world would do us no good if we didn't take them to heart, become closer to God, and thereby become a better person. But sometimes we need a little direction on how to overcome our faults and become better people. Lewis offers some good advice, including some of my favorite advice ever. A couple related quotes:

"Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbour; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him." (131)

"When you are not feeling particularly friendly, but you know you ought to be, the best thing you can do, very often, is to put on a friendly manner and behave as if you were a nicer person than you actually are. And in a few minutes, as we all have noticed, you will be feeling really friendlier than you were. Very often the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as if you had it already." (188)

This falls under the 'fake it 'til you make it' line of thinking, and I think it is one that works very well, even in situations that you might not think it would. For the longest time, I was terrible at flossing... I rarely did it, and my dentists yelled at me every time I went in. Nothing could motivate me to floss though. Then, I thought, why don't I just pretend that I care about flossing, and that it is very important to me. So I tried it... and now I floss twice a day, almost without fail (this is a true story).

This I believe would hold true for almost any virtue or habit. If you are a bad public speaker, you would get better in time by pretending that you are actually a good public speaker. This would give you more confidence (slowly, at first, but then more and more), which would then give you the courage to public speak (and practice it), and soon you would be better at it. I believe the same goes for courage (pretend you're brave, and you will be brave), faithfulness, anything.

If anyone was looking to overcome a fault or something that they wanted to change in their life, this is probably the first advice that I would give them.

But what if you are headed down the wrong path? In such cases, there might be no quick fix to your situation. But that does not mean to keep trodding the same path. Once again, sometimes the longest way round is the shortest way home.

"But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man." (28)

If you are stuck in a bad situation, bad relationship, bad habit... there is nothing progressive or admirable about trying to stick it out. In short, progress, becoming a better person, and improving your life means turning away from it, however hard and difficult it may be. You might not realize the benefits in the short term, but it will pay off greatly in the long run.

Finally, we must always keep in mind that no deed, no act, is too small. The little things are where we build our character. If we are not faithful in small matters, then how could we possibly expect to be faithful in large matters?

"Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of." (132)

As Aristotle famously wrote, excellence is a habit. And one that we need to practice in all decisions, big or small, if we hope to acquire it.